Rachel, tired of being a waitress, sends out resumes; she gets an interview with Saks Fifth Avenue. Ross pines for Rachel. The girls decide they want in on the guys' poker games; reluctantly, the guys accept. The girls don't do so well, but they want a rematch. Monica's competative side comes out... she may have thrown a plate once during a Pictionary game, but she insists it was an accident. Monica inlists the help of her Aunt Iris to give them some poker tips; the girls still don't do so well. Then at the third game, the girls are going down again. Rachel gets some bad news about the job for which she's been interviewing, and gets aggressive at cards; she taunts Ross into a high stakes hand... and he lets her win because he wants to see her happy.
Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?
Ross: I don't know.
Chandler: Is this still about her whole, "The Flintstones could've really happened" thing?
Chandler: Could you want her more?
Chandler: Dee, the sarcastic sister from What's Happening.
Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, all right?
Ross: Oh, guys, you should've seen him. "Read 'em and weep."
Chandler: And then he did.
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, how many do you want?
Phoebe: Okay, I just need two. The, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.
Ross: No, uh, Phoebs? You can't... you can't do...
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here, you want it?
Ross: No, no. Uh, no, see, uh, you... you can't do that.
Rachel: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that's okay, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.
Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.
Rachel: Settle what?
Chandler: The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so...
Rachel: So basically, you get your ya-yas by taking money from all of your friends.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
Rachel: Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Phoebe: Ha. Ha, ha.
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.
Rachel: Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview!
Monica: You're kidding! Where? Where?
Rachel: Sak's Fifth Avenue!
Monica: Oh, Rachel!
Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mothership is calling you home!
Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what!
Chandler: Um, ok, the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
Phoebe: All right, here's my $7.50. But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Chandler: That's all right, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Ross: Well, that just leaves the big Green poker machine, who owes fifteen.
Rachel: Mm-hmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women.
Monica: You know what? This is not over. We will play you again, and we will win, and you will lose, and you will beg, and we will laugh, and we will take every last dime you have, and you will hate yourselves... forever.
Rachel: Hmm. Kinda stepped on my point there, Mon.
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? "Joker" is "poker" with a "J." Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's... that's "joincidence" with a "C!"
Joey: Ah, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face.
Ross: So, what'd you have?
Rachel: I'm not telling.
Ross: Come on, show them to me.
Ross: Show them to me!
Rachel: Get your hands out of there! No!
Ross: Let me see! Show them!
Chandler: Y'know, I've had dates like this.
Rachel: Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Phoebe: Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants.
Rachel: I saw your twenty-five, and I raise you... seven.
Ross: Joey, I'm a little shy.
Joey: That's okay, Ross, you can ask me. What?
Chandler: Airplane! Airport! Airport '75! Airport '77! Airport '79!
Rachel: Oh, time's up.
Monica: Bye... bye... birdie!
Phoebe: That's a bird?
Phoebe: That's a bird!