Chandler accidentally walks in on Rachel after a shower and sees her breasts, leading to a series of shower peepings. Phoebe's new psychiatrist boyfriend, Roger, depresses and angers everyone. Joey finds out his dad has been having an affair with Ronni, a pet mortician, for six years; he insists his dad either break it off or confess, but it turns out his mom already knew--and didn't want it to stop.
Chandler: You know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed. They were very nice boobies.
Rachel: Nice? They were nice? I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Chandler: Okay... rock... hard place... me.
Ross: All right, all right. We're all adults here. There's only one way to resolve this.
Since you saw her boobies, I think you're gonna have to show her your pee-pee.
Chandler: You know, I don't see that happening?
Rachel: C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.
Chandler: Well, I'm not showing you my tat.
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, uh, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food; they're not love.
Ronni: Now, ya see, most people--when their pets pass on--they want 'em sorta laid out like
they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like chasing their
tail or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys.
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
Mr. Tribbiani: You're gonna keep an eye on us?
Joey: That's right, mister! And I don't care how old you are, as long as you're
under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Ronni: Wow, he's strict.
Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. That sounds so weird when it's not followed by, "No thanks, it's late."
Chandler: Hey, Kicky! What are you doing?
Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.
Chandler: Well you're gonna.
Joey: I've been thinking, ya know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls?
Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Joey: No.
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it!
And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say, "No thanks, I'm married."
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
Roger: Well, I'm not... I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
Phoebe: You're not? See, that's why you're so great!
Roger: Actually it's... it's quite, you know... typical behaviour when you have this kind
of dysfunctional group dynamic. You know, this kind of co-dependent, emotionally stunted, sitting
in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples
on them, and you're all, like, "Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!"
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my Ma like she wanted, my Ma'sshe's gonna keep pretending she
doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a
restraining order. Which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Rachel: Wow.
Chandler: Things sure have changed here on Waltons mountain.
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blonde chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.